Southern Cross 2006

the 3 antidotes.

2006-07-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

Hey peeeeeps! greetings from singapore, DUH. =) Thanks for your prayers, God's been gracious and not slow in answering them. My church is transiting well i would say, but still do keep my pastors and church body in prayer as we're moving towards God's direction together. Pray for unity. Your prayers are indeed, very greatly appreciated and highly recommended haha!

Would really like to share with you this message/sermon my new senior pastor, Ps. Glen shared with us just last week. He shared that this is and will be his heart's prayer for his own life, that God would mould him to be a man of integrity, generosity, and humility.

Why?

Integrity
Integrity has the meaning of "all in one", that we're the same person even in different settings. In short, it's single-standardness (is there such a word?!). It is also to say what I mean and mean what I say. This is the first antidote to the lust of flesh.

Many times, it's easy to fall to the trap of religiosity, saying things to please others and to "look right" in the given setting. Perhaps, for some of us, we are like an angel in church and a devil at home! HAHA! i hope not. frankly, i think i used to be like tt (okay, i confess so pls pray for me so i may be healed!!! haha). but i thank God for His mighty work in me each day, to change me. Things are better now. and if there's any of you struggling with this, fret not. Jesus' came to save! and HE STILL SAVES. HALLELUJAH! (:

and yup, religiosity is a sin of the flesh...religiosity and spirituality, fine fine line. Let's pray for the Holy Spirit to guide us each day to truly walk in His ways that we may be found blameless on the day of the return of our Lord Jesus. =)

Generosity
This is the second antidote, to the lust of the eyes. Living in an affluent society, our eyes have the tendency to lust for more and more things to be in our possession. without even considering if we really need them. We just want to see more, and have more.

Generosity will help us to reach out to others who are in need and keeps our eyes focused on people who need, instead of ourselves, who wants. Importantly, it roots us in a position of giving instead of taking and keeping. =) it's care and share.

And whatever God graciously puts in our hands, may God help us to be good stewards of it and never to use them (be it money, gifts ...) to lord over others. Success never belonged to us, it's always a property of God.

May God help us to be generous towards everyone. =)

Humility
Yep, got it right, the antidote to the pride of life. Ps. Glen mentioned about being teachable and keeping the attitude of learning. We don't have to go about thinking we know it all or pretend we do. When we don't know what to do, let us be upfront about our weakness so that we remember we're still imperfect people in the moulding to be like Christ.

This really spoke to me, because I always felt that I must be "ready" before i take on a challenge. Right now, still learning to trust God in each step and wait upon Him to take me on a marvellous adventure. As how one of my pastors, Sis. Seaward shared, God showed her that life's like a maze, and many times we don't know how things will end up, but we've got to trust God even for the little steps. =)

And for those who God will call to be His leaders, i read that to stop learning is to stop leading =)

May God give us a humble and teachable heart to learn as much as we can as He lavishes His grace on us to give us another day to live, for His glory. =)

I hope this will build each of the members in the team up and continue to persevere in the work of the Lord, because, as children of God, we know our labour is not in vain, and may every ounce of our strength bring glory to God. In all that we do, may it be a form of worship and pleasure unto our beloved God, who has saved and redeemed us, to bless us bountifully in the rich inheritance we have through Jesus.

and don't forget to keep a prayerful heart, people. =)

"prayer unites one's soul to God." - i forgot where i got this from. =)

God bless all.

2006-06-15T12:33:00.000+08:00

I was looking through my parent’s bookshelf when I came across this old book entitled The Perfect Will Of God by G. Christian Weiss. As I was reading it, this chapter – It is possible to miss God’s will and plan did speak to me. Hope it will speak to you too.

When I was a student in Christian training, one of my teachers startled our ears one morning in class by saying, “I have lived most of my life on God’s second best.” Following that remark, instead of devoting the class period to the lesson for the day, he felt prompted by the Spirit to tell us his story. God had manifestly called him to be a missionary in his younger years. He turned aside from this course, through marriage. He had in fact practically given up Christian work and begun a selfish business life as cashier in a bank, with the primary purpose of setting up a nice home and making money. The Spirit of God kept dealing with him, but there was no yielding. A number of years passed. Then one day there was a telephone call to the bank. Their small child had toppled over in her high chair and was dead. It took that bitter experience to bring that Christian to the place of surrender. After he spent a night alone with God on his knees, in tears and agony, the surrender came. But it was too late now to go to Africa; his disobedience of earlier years had closed that door forever, though he knew God had once called him.
What was to be done in a case like that? Surrendering himself then and there utterly to God, with a broken and contrite heart, this man pleaded with the Lord to take up the tangled threads of his disobedient life and make the wreckage whatever He could. God heard that prayer, and gave him a useful and quite fruitful ministry the rest of his days. He was the means eventually of training and helping to send out other missionaries. But, as he testified with tears to us young men that morning, he had missed God’s first and highest choice for his life and had been living on His second best.
I have since met numerous people who have borne similar testimony. Usually these testimonies have been bathed, or at least marked, with bitter tears. For, while, thank God, He has ways of using even those who have sinned and have gone past that single entrance into the channel of Hid perfect will, life can never be the way He originally intended it. It is a tragedy to miss the perfect will of God for one’s life. Christian, mark well these words and this testimony, lest you too miss His first choice. God doubtless will use any life that is submitted to His hands, anywhere along life’s pathway, but let us be among those who have sought and surrendered to His will at the outset of life’s journey, and thus avoid those painful and shameful detours of the way.

After I read this, I felt scared. Scared because what if God’s will is totally against mine? Like send me out of the mission field or something? And yet as a Christian, our purpose is to also discover God’s will for our lives. And who wants to settle for second best? I mean everyone knows what the politically correct answers to these questions. Like He will guide you through it and you need not be afraid. But there is fear still. Give me sometime to be really convicted.

Work in progress

-Ting

Sermon at the Church

2006-06-13T23:43:00.000+08:00

I felt that the message shared by Pastor Daniel (according to Jo... I forgot his name! Ha!) that sunday was very ministering. It was a timely and appropriate message to us who were in the mission field, engaging in spiritual battles.

The main Bible verse was from 1 Tim 6:11-12, "But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

If you have read the previous section prior to these verses, the apostle Paul was speaking against erroneous teachings for some personal gain as well as greed. We are to flee from these things. Pastor Daniel mentioned the 3 Fs we are to do in our walk with God.

1. Flee from all that is evil.
2. Follow everything that is good and holy from God.
3. Fight the good fight of faith.

1. Flee from all that is evil.

We need to know what to flee from:
a. Flee from idolatry. (1 Cor 10:14)
b. Flee from youthful lusts (2 Tim 2:22)
c. Flee from sexual immorality (1 Cor 6:18)
d. Flee from greed (1 Tim 6:6-11)

We also need to know where do we flee to. We are to flee unto the Lord and pursue holiness. (Ps 143:9) In Gen 39, Joseph fled when Potiphar's wife wanted him to lie with her. Joseph pursued holiness and avoided sinning against the Lord in this.

2. Follow everything that is good and holy from God.

We are to pursue, to run after holiness and righteousness. In Matt 5:6, the Lord promises to fill those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. In the main verse of 1 Tim 6:11, The apostle Paul taught us to pursue love and patience with people, to be living good testimonies to the world. Jesus gave a new commandment in Jn 13:34-35, that we are to love one another just as He has loved us! In 1 Jn 4:7-8, we are again reminded to love one another as we know God and because God is love. Pastor Daniel mentioned that church growth is not about the numbers in the congregation but it is real growth only if people are growing in love! We are to pursue faith as well; in Heb 11:6, the Bible tells us that without faith, it is impossible to please God! We need to learn to walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Cor 5:17) We also need to be persistent in our pursuit of these attributes and not give up. Last but not least, to pursue gentleness or meekness. Meekness is not weakness but power in control!

3. Fight the good fight of faith.

In our fight against the darkness, we need to be fully clothed in the whole armour of God in order to stand against the devil. (Eph 6:10-11) We must also be equipped with the shield of faith to quench the fiery darts of the evil one, the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God to help us fight and to be praying and watchful always for the schemes of the evil one. (Eph 6:17-18)

Mission trip blues

2006-06-09T00:29:00.000+08:00

Mission trip blues

I still can’t believe the trip is over. The nine days went pass so quickly. I just feel like going for second round…haven’t had enough of this trip. Every now and then I will still reminisce about the times we had there. The seashells that I bought, the postcards, and some of my dirty clothes from the trip still lying around in my bedroom give me that blues feeling- feeling of missing something that I have lost. I did not smell my dirty clothes because I am scared; scared not because it is smelly but scared that it will make the blues feeling even stronger. Hmm…I don’t usually feel like this…it happens only when I lose something precious like a relationship with loved ones…but hey, as a matter of fact, this is indeed something very precious. It is an enriching, once-in-a-lifetime experience. It only happens once. No two mission trips are identical. And you can’t buy it with money. This experience can only happen because of God’s love. This experience can only happen because I had the privilege of being God’s child and because He chose me, Hsien Lit the sinner, to represent the Creator of heaven and earth. Thank you, Father.

My fellow teammates, yes, the trip is over, but the mission is not.

My, that’s different!!

Oh boy!!…I’ve done some things during the trip that I normally won’t do in Singapore or Malaysia. I really never thought I would do such things as dancing and turning round and round in the middle of a road at the pier (inspired by TL) or playing guitar and singing like a desperado by the roadside. You can try that in Singapore or Malaysia if you want to, but watch out for policemen. If you’re lucky, the policemen will join you but if you’re not, you can continue doing that in prison. Well, my friends who did not understand might call me crazy, but let us just say, “My, that’s different”.

But what really is different is myself. Well, I wouldn’t say I am a totally changed person but I know deep inside that God is molding me bit by bit. I have experienced what it feels like to be in the forefront of a spiritual battle. PX asked me after our first post-trip meeting at GCTC whether did I feel the intensity of the spiritual battle. I sure did. I never knew how real the spiritual battle is until I went for this mission trip…rejection of the Gospel, physical sickness, conflicts within the team, negative thoughts…but God protected us. I remember during distribution, one group of Chinese tourists joined us for the worship songs. That was amazing because I was told that that kind of thing rarely happens. Anyway, after the group left, I remember YQ and a few others started praying for the same thing to happen again. Amazingly, almost instantly, after I heard YQ mentioned her prayers, a second group appeared. This one really touched my heart because there was a girl in this group who stood right in front of us and started praying the moment she saw us. It was like God sending his angels to comfort and encourage His wounded soldiers.

I now know how wonderful it is to serve God and how important it is to memorize Bible verses (inspired by Paul). I can now pray more confidently and I have also experienced how powerful prayers can be. I remember during one of the distribution time, the sky was overcastted. I started praying for good weather and instantly the sun resurfaced beneath the dark clouds and the sky gradually cleared. The sun was so big and bright, facing me as though telling me that I woke him up with my prayers.

I also want to take this chance to thank our beloved Prayer I/C. You really did a good job and thanks also for the timely reminders to pray. Oh yeah, nagging is a blessing! I never knew how much I missed my mother’s nagging until I came Singapore. So remember guys, every time someone nags at you, you are being cared for.

Matthew 21:21-22 (NIV)
Jesus replied, “I tell you the TRUTH, if you have FAITH and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you BELIEVE, you will receive whatever you ask for in PRAYER.

Blind man trusting his sweet

Honestly, I was like a blind man going to war when I signed up for SCP. I did not know what I just signed up for. This explains why I had no initial objectives for SCP. All sorts of negative thoughts came into my mind when I was invited to take part in Gen12 II. Will I have the financial resources? Will my parents object? What about my job search? Do I have what it takes to go for mission trips? Nevertheless, until the very last day of registration, my SM told me to have faith in the Lord. I remember also a few days before that, he asked me to choose a sweet out of a packet of sweets. Each sweet has a Bible verse written on it. The sweet that I chose bears the verse from Isaiah 41:13 “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” That was the verse that spoke to me. When I went home and meditated upon it, I could almost feel God holding my right hand…such comforting words those are. I told myself, I am going to trust in the Lord no matter what happens and so I signed up. The sweet was so precious to me, that I am still keeping it. I dare not eat it. I just want to keep the sweet as long as possible. This little sweet still survived even after all my rough and violent packing when I moved from PGP hostel to my residence in Woodlands. I wonder how long can I keep it. Will it melt? Will the ants attack it? I don’t know but I hope they won’t because ants are our friends.

Anyway, my main point is that I have learnt to trust God. I just trusted Him from beginning of the trip till the end and He never failed to bless me. He provided me with the financial resources, loving teammates, journey mercy etc….

Well, I may not know what I wanted out of this trip at that time, but I certainly know now what God wanted me to get out of this trip. He wants me to have a closer relationship with Him and that is so sweet of Him!…He also renewed my spiritual well-being which was not very good due to exams, job hunting and interviews. But now I feel recharged after the trip.

“I was blind, but that doesn’t mean I cannot see.” – HL

From the Reporter's desk

2006-06-03T12:51:00.000+08:00

In all wonder and awe, I proclaim that God, is amazing. He stitched the lives of 12 people, of so diverse characters, backgrounds, denominations, together through the course of a mission trip.

Each of us represents a unique colour and are sewn together like a tapestry and through the grace of God, forms a fuller picture, serving each other through our different portfolios in love and unity.

Just like how Pei Xin puts it, there are snippets of lessons that we learnt along the way.

Firstly, We would like to thank the supporters who have supported us financially and through prayer. Our hearts can't express our gratefulness for your prayers.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms - Ephesians 6:12

Before I started on this mission trip, I set 2 goals for myself. The first being – To have a closer walk with Him and see Him work in the midst of us. And the second is to learn from my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. God has been more than good to me. He has taught me beyond what I could imagine.

Let me walk you through the beginning few sessions of training for the trip, the lessons I have learnt from specific individuals until now.

Lesson on Love
Firstly, that I find in myself the incapacity to love others the way I want to and to be the person God wants for me to be. Ivan’s sharing on the greatest commandment: Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbour as yourself” - Matthew 22:37-38 really spoke to me. He was saying that though the verse is simple, to love God and to love others really is difficult. And they way I look at it, I really fall short of the glory of God and yet He loves me so dearly.
I learnt that it is from the abundance of God’s love that overflows in us, then can we love one another. And like how Joshua puts it – Freedom is the power to do the things you ought to do. And during the whole trip I really felt the love from God and through my teammates. During the distribution at the pier and during Lobby ministry, I could feel the presence of God moving in the midst :) Especially before we ventured to the slums, I really feel for the people. My teammates are really a bunch of thoughtful people. Besides the numerous encouragement cards given to us throughout the course of the training and during the trip, we were also treated to Ginseng tea (from the long hours of brewing by Su Fung’s mother) and even services such as cut fruits served to us to our hotel doors – it does show a lot.

Lesson on Boldness in Expression and Deed
I am glad I have got Jane as my roommate. We had a long conversation on the first night and I think we both have this thing holding us from expressing ourselves. Take worship for example, dancing is an expression unto the Lord. And we confided in each other how conscious we were how others would view us that we do not really express our joy unto the Lord. But throughout the trip, I think through mutual encouragement by my roommate, I learn to express freedom in worship.

Let’s begin from the training lessons. I always felt that my Chinese was not really good and singing Chinese songs, especially high notes is just not my forte. But really through the many practices, I could see myself grow in confidence. I remembered vividly the 3rd night at the pier. There was this bunch of Chinese tourists, a Christian in the midst of them. Su Fung was the translator between M (who spoke English) and the Chinese tourist. They started to videotape us when we begun singing the Chinese songs. Because of the fullness of joy that overflows from within, I sang the Chinese songs much more loudly. That, I noticed about myself. And the simple comment made by David - he guessed that I sang Soprano 2 in choir did make me question - that all along my thinking that I cant really sing high notes has been a lie? I think not only did I learn about lies and deceptions from the evil one. My roommate learnt that too.
I led the first devotion. If you were wondering why the devotion ended so shortly, the reason was because I was so nervous! Ha ha …

Come to thing of it, I worry for no reason. Firstly, in worship, singing and dancing is an expression of praise unto the Lord. Beside the fact that I shouldn't distract others, it is solely unto Him and Him alone. I think the dancing at the pier by even people older then my age really posted to me my sense of freedom of expression unto the Lord.
And secondly, sharing is to edify the body of Christ. And if it is what that truly speak to me, the fear of God should supercede whatever fear of men. As long as my heart is right with God.

I think that us having a break through in Lobby Evangelism also make me take a different approach in my view of breaking the ice with the Chinese tourist. Now what goes through my brain whenever I start conversations is:
1) We are sharing the good news with others and why should one be afraid of it.
2) I would recall how God worked when I took the first step of faith to share to my colleague a year ago and then I felt the presence of God. (Faith without deeds is dead – James 2: 26b)

3) Like how Jane puts it, the Chinese tourists most likely will forget what we say and so it is better to try then not to try at all.

Lesson on the Importance of reading God’s word daily
I think that the door-to-door prayer, where we were put into groups of 2 to pray really tested my knowledge of the bible. I was with this prayer warrior (makes a funny face) who claimed on scriptures and even though my prayer was led by the Spirit, I recognized the importance of knowing the bible well and memorizing essential verses. They are of much help when we reached the dark portion of the row of rooms where there was insufficient light to allow us to read from our bibles.

Verse that summarized this trip for me
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline – 2 Timothy 1:7

Verse given to me by my roommate
I pray that, “God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints” – Ephesians 1:17-18

What we took back with us
I believe that in one way or another, be it learning how to claim on verses and pray, in fanning our flame for the lost, in growing towards an even deeper walk with the Lord and even in learning how to love each other and resolving conflicts through the love of God, we all have gained valuable lessons through this trip. But we also recognize that these are not enough. It is in applying these lessons to our daily lives that is of outmost importance.

Short term mission trip with a long term change in our lives. That’s how I would like to put it. Some of us have graduated and are venturing soon into the working world, others have just completed the first year of their University; some are young Christians in the faith and others, Christians for many years; and not forgetting those in-between. It is my prayer and I also believe that it is yours too, that we go back yearning to have a deeper passion and closer walk with Him. That when trials and temptations come, May this mission trip be another milestone of how God has been faithful to us. And may we continue to abide in Him and live a life worth of His calling!

And I thank You Lord, for the trials I feel inside,
That You’re there to help lead and guide me away from wrong.
And I thank You Lord, for the patience those trials bring;
In that process of growing, I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way I am to put my human nature down
And let the Spirit take control of all I do.
Cause when those trials come by human nature
Shouts the things to do
And God’s soft prompting can be easily ignored.

And I thank You Lord, for the trials that come my way
In that way I can grow each day as I let You lead
Cause You promised Lord, that with every testing
That Your way of escaping is easier to bear.
And I thank You Lord, for the victory that growing brings,
In surrender of everything, life is so worthwhile.
And I thank You Lord, that when everything’s put in place,
Out in front I can see Your face and it’s there You belong.

my turning point

2006-06-02T17:19:00.000+08:00

The second distribution at the pier. It was my turn to pray for that night. The session would last 4 hours. I had never prayed for so long before and expected it to be a long and boring session; I was not exactly looking forward it.

It was between the time when Jane and I had our dinner but Yang Qian hadn’t. The three of us were prayer walking. Jane and YQ were saying that they could really feel the presence of God with us that night. And I told them then that whenever they had said that, be it just then or the days before, I never felt anything as they had. I supposed this is something that just cannot be explained. And then there’s joy. They both felt a joy in their hearts that I couldn’t say I felt.

I think it was in this joy that the following conversation began:
YQ: Do you see the fishes??
J: Yes!!
PX: Cannot see… where is it?
J/YQ: There
PX: Where?? How come you all can see the fishes but I can’t?!
YQ: Lord, I pray that Pei Xin can also see the fishes

It’s as if the fishes were the Chinese tourists, the harvest. And somehow, I just couldn’t see the harvest, couldn’t see that the harvest is here. It’s also as if the fishes were like God’s presence. He’s there, but I couldn’t “see” Him.

Then, there were many fishes. Some were jumping above the water surface like mini dolphins. And then, I could see the fishes. Simply because there were so many; it became so obvious that I would be blind not to see.

Sometime later, we went with YQ to get her dinner. On our way back, we could see a crowd of people from afar. On approaching, we saw that the group of people were stopping and watching the team performing the song “有一位神”. Some joined in and sang with us. One or two videotaped us. A sister with a tour group prayed in front of us because I think she was very happy and thankful for this work that is done. Somehow, I was very touched by that entire scene.

Maybe at that point in time, the scene hit me: it’s parallel to the earlier conversation: that the harvest is here-- look! That God is working and desires for China! Look! That, isn’t it obvious enough? Pei Xin, can’t you see?

I’m really still very much a skeptic. Definition from dictionary.com that fits me very well: “one who instinctively or habitually doubts, questions, or disagrees with assertions or generally accepted conclusions.” Frequently, when something happened, I would in my mind estimate a probability of that something happening out of coincidence. Though of course, everything is under God’s control so nothing is really a coincidence; but yet I still persist in that “calculation” of probability. Like, maybe God’s hand is not on that incident; He didn’t exactly move/alter that course of events.. it just happened as a natural course of events.. nothing “out-of-ordinary”, so to speak. And an incident must be really improbable of happening before I would acknowledge that God is moving in the midst. Of course, this probability is very much arbitrary. Sigh. I’m quite sure something is not quite right. I think it is because I have a hardened heart. My heart is hardened with the sin of unbelief. “I do believe, help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24. Please, pray for me. Thank you.

That night, perhaps God who knows this hardened heart wanted it to be so obvious that I would be blind not to see. The crowd that night was certainly not the norm. Even someone working on the project for 2.5 years commented that “很少有这样的情形的”. And another said that a tour guide who usually discouraged people from taking the bibles was silent that night. I remembered that we specifically prayed for Buddhists; that they would want to know more about Jesus who claims that He is the way, and the truth, and the life (John 14:6), that they would re-think they system of beliefs they had. And someone shared that at least 2 Buddhists took the packs and one even said something like “I want to know the truth. I will take this home and examine it.” Praise the Lord.

“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion” Hebrews 3:15, Psalm 95:7,8

Well, I think that night is a kind of turning point for the trip. Sort of see things in new light. Prayer does changes things, if it is in accordance to His will. I cannot understand why God waits for man to ask before He gives.. but anyhow, if He wants people to ask.. then ask lor. Surely, He has His purpose for it; something good is in store, as Esther shared during the training camp.

“You do not have, because you do not ask God.” James 4:2.
“Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” John 16:24.

Dave said on the last day during debrief: “Do not forget Thailand”. I hope I won’t. But if not for my notes and journal, I would have. I can’t recall much already. How scary is my memory.

I want to give thanks for Aiwen. Really cant recall if this is his name.. something like that. He sells earring at a cart at the pier. He knows Chinese and when Jane and I stopped by thinking of getting some gifts for supporters, we later talked to him about Christianity and shared the 4 spiritual laws. He chose the right circle; ie Christ-centered life. I was wondering if he knew what he’s doing and asked God to show us if he really did know. It turned out that God has been preparing him; his brother is a Christian. He has Christian friends who asked him to go church. We had the privilege and reaped a harvest we didn’t sow. Please pray for him too and also for the Chinese tourists who had come into contact with the team.

Thank you everyone for all the support!

Miracles.

2006-06-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

Learning to love & forgive.
She reached out from behind pushed my shopping cart away from me. I was in utter disbelief and shock. How could she? I walked forward toward the cashier and pulled my cart nearer. She reached out again and impatiently pushed my cart forward. I was very much disgusted and on the verge of telling her off, only I turned around and saw a Chinese national. "Oh. Dear. God," I prayed. "Give me patience."

Then later that evening, David shared with me about a Chinese who had blatantly cut his queue in front of him. Goodness. These people."I thought to myself. Then David said to me:" You know what? These are the people that God wants us to love and reach out to." Then I heard God ask me:" Jon... Do you love me? ". I wept bitterly that night.
"My command is this: love each other as I have loved you." John 15:12

An Encouragement.
"What a beautifully charming girl." I thought to myself. "Such brilliant eyes." She sat next to me and spoke Thai. I didn't understand a word she spoke. Later that night, we were playing around and when it was time to get some distribution done, she picked out the bibles from the boxes and handed them out to the tourists.

When it was time to leave, she came over, I kneeled down so she could look at me comfortably and promptly received a hug and what seemed like a tiny peck on the cheek before she ran shyly to hide behind her mother. I was tired that night and God had quietly sent a little angel to lift me up and kiss me on my cheek.
"...When he was a long way off, his father saw him. His hear pounding, he ran out, embraced him and kissed him." Luke 15:20

Beautiful Stranger.
We went to the slums on the second last day. I was stunned. It was very much different form what you see on National geographic. There, the pungent smell kills your nostrils and the people come up to welcome you.

There I saw this man. His shirt was peppered with so many holes it resembled cheese. He stank of sweat and mud. His beard intermeshed with dirt and grime. His bones peeked out from under his skin. The wrinkles, gathered around his eyes, as if they were having an important meeting. Sometime in me retaliated when he came near. But I prayed and warmly shook his hand.

Later that week. Dave shared that Jesus would probably have been kicked out of some churches, because he was probably badly dressed, stank of sweat and probably wasn't very presentable. Then it hit me like a rock. He probably didn't look or smell very much different from them. Would I have welcomed him into my house? Would I have recoiled like I did in the slums? It felt so terrible. I just felt so lost.
"...Whenever you did one of those things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me - you did it to me" Matt 25: 40

Lest I forget.
The magificent places. The beautiful people. The wonderful food.
The slow and lazy pace of life. So many things to fall in love with, so many things to miss. As I walked back from the restaurant by the beach. I thought about how much I would miss this place. Hsien Lit told me that he wished he could take a part of Thailand with him. I wished I could too.

Then I wanted to know why my heart was torn. I prayed and asked God. He kept quiet. Then I asked myself:" Will I miss God working in my life? Will things go back to the way they were? The busy schedules. The eternal datelines. Would I neglect God all over again? Would I still trust God with my all?". Dave said later in the afternoon that it wasn't the end of a mission trip. That the start and end dates didn't matter. It was the process. Like the dates on the tombstone that stand out so magnificent and grand. It is the dash in the middle of the two dates that tell a lifestory. Look at the past, look at the present and see the future.

I wept that night in the plane back to Singapore. " Dear God, please never let me ever forget you and will you please... never forget me. "
"Taking the bread he blessed it, broke it, and gave it to them, saying," This is my body, given for you. Eat it in my memory." Luke 22:18

Picture this.

2006-05-22T15:46:00.000+08:00

He picked up a fat brush, the color of maple wood, and dabbed a spotch of ugly green onto the canvas. Then he chuckled to me: "that's you." He grinned. I was disgusted. Admist the bright yellow and fiery red, The green spoltch looked like some passing bird's calling card. So dull. So terrifyingly ugly.

I made a face at him. Irritating indeed. Fancy telling me i'm some horrible green, the color of bird poop.Well, thanks so much, but i'd rather be a nice sunny shade of yellow. I stuck my tongue out and retorted indignantly. "Whatever."

Despite his uncharming remarks, I walked off, folded my arms and thought about his remarks. Maybe I could convince him that I wasn't as dull and boring as he thought me to be, and that If he had understood me enough, he could see my beatuy. Like a diamond, in the rough.

I walked back later that evening, and saw him sitting there in the exact same spot. As if, time itself had ceased to exist in the room of color pastels and canvases. I walked over and exclaimed, (still very irritated by this thoughtless remark.) "I think you've got me wrong. I'm got more potential than you Think I..." My voice trailed off as I caught sight of the almost finished painting.

Admist the trees that seem to rustle in the wind, the shadows that hid from the sun, beside a long road that seemed to stretch endlessly for miles. And the leaves of red and gold peppering the ground, like the seasame seeds on a hamburger. And more, on what used to be a plain white canvas.

I tried to find myself in that beautiful picture, the ugly spot of dirty green which he had so heartlessly remarked had resembled me. I couldn't find it. The colors were so well inter meshed that the melody of the picture sang out, and it was no where to be found.

He looked up from his canvas. "What did you say?"
"Oh. Nothing. I was just thinking. That's a nice picture." I mumbled.
"Ah." He said with a proud grin. "Its not done yet."

"Not done?" My left eyebrow raised itself up in surprise.
"Yea." He replied."There's still alot more to go."

Sometimes, I get the feeling. That I'm no more than a falling leaf in the mercy of the winds. And In my shortsightedness fail to see, that there's more to it. All I saw was an ugly spot. What he saw, was the shadows that huddled under the bustling leaves. The tiny shadow that brought the tree to life. If God was painting a beatiful picture. He'd put you in it. =)

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I told You yesterday. That If you wanted me to share about Thailand to those people at home. Please give me a videocam. My mother told me that given three days. There was NO WAY ANYONE would lend a video camera to me. But I still insisted in leaving it Your loving hands.

Now we've got a video cam. I'm smiling with tears in my eyes, and a heart so full of joy I can't help but feel so thankful. Dear God, You're so wonderful.

Da Vinci Distribution

2006-05-18T01:47:00.000+08:00

The cars honked and hummed through the busy streets as smokey fumes filled the air. In a tiny corner of the street stood a boy, giving out magazines. Streams of people passed him by, in that little corner on the street.

Some refusing to meet his glance, others with curious smiles upon their faces and some, desperately avoided him like a plague. Unshaken and still determined, the boy pressed on with a smile that would have outdone Mona Lisa herself.

Simply because, what he offered, was to him only the truth. Nothing less, nothing more. A magazine that was to refute the up and coming movie - The Da Vinci Code. He was told many would believers would be led astray, many would disbelieve yet more would be disheartened. If only these people knew.

As the cars continued to drive by, and the streets started to came alive with the lunch crowds. More and more people came to pass him by. His heart was lifted when people wanted to know more or to take some to bring home. His heart was torn, when it was the truth they rejected or had thrown away.

A kind lady came up to him and asked:" Is this about the Da Vinci Code? and are you a christian?". To which he replied:"Yes it is. Indeed I am." She smiled and responded:"That's good. These people need to be educated."

Yes. These people need to be educated. In Gal 6:9 -"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

2006-05-05T17:50:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone, I have set up this blog for us to use. You people can feel free to post anything encouraging to the team or to our individual supporters. Whatever we have done as a team that you find reporting worthwhile can be posted onto the blog also, so that our supporters can read them and be updated on what our team is doing and progressing on our trip (Photos would be great!). Feel free to post prayer requests too!